(no subject)

[rena_librarian]

Don't feel like writing.

Grandma died today.

Will write about the day tonight, most likely. Won't feel like doing much else.

Does not having cried about it yet make me a horrible person? So far I haven't done a single thing differently because of it. Am I...I don't know, bad, somehow? Or really strong or what? *confused*

Comments

[thehobbitwaffle.livejournal.com]

Oh Sarah, I'm sorry.
It doesn't make you a horrible person. Everyone greives in their own way. She's been dying for awhile now, and it might not be real yet. Or is it?
I don't know. I wish I could help.
But your not horrible.

[gamgeefest.livejournal.com]

Poor Sarah, I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't worry about the fact you haven't cried yet. You'll cry when you're ready. You're probably just in shock right now. Even though you know something like this is coming, it always seems sudden when it does happen.

Gramma Strobel, I love you.

[darkest-crocus.livejournal.com]

I know I just talked to you on the phone last night, sis, but I feel like I just can't help. If you haven't cried yet, it's not because you're heartless. It's because you don't know what to feel yet. You said that you were confused at your emotions? There's nothing confusing about what you feel.

I loved Gramma too. and yet, I find myself thinking the same thing I told myself, and another close friend a long time ago: "Better in heaven, than on earth. Better in Joy than in pain. Better that I know that I love, than REMEMBER that I loved them when they were here."

That's not to say that the way out is to cry. That's not true. You know that I cry. I'm very much like that. It doesn't mean you have to. I know that you feel the loss. Emotions don't always show themselves in tears. If you feel like you should cry, and you only cry because you feel that you are emotionless, then those tears are not for Gramma they're for you.

But if you cry because you just DO, then those tears will be taken away by gramma when she sees them. She still loves you, even if she is no longer here with us. She wouldn't want you to self-suffer because you haven't cried. She wants you to be happy that she is no longer in pain, or in mental anguish. She's in the heaven that Christians know, sitting alongside Angels. Saint Peter can't resist sweet old women with hearts like hers.

Just know, If you need me, You can call me any time day or night. I'm here.

I love you, Sis.

[rena-librarian.livejournal.com]

*sniff*
Thanks, guys. Girls. Lol.
Huggles mean a lot to me.

[thehobbitwaffle.livejournal.com]

*Another for good measure*

[rena-librarian.livejournal.com]

Thanks.