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Whenever I am in a stressful situation, whether it be anger stress or fear stress or just plain stress, I start composing a blog entry about my feelings in my head. However many words are on this journal, there's probably three times as many that I never even typed.

And when I do this, it actually makes me feel better.

I have no idea what this says about me as a person.
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My family, mostly. I'll talk about "my online journal" or "my blog" or "so-and-so that I know from LJ," but I've never given any of them the URL.

I had the URL on my Facebook until one of my cousins mentioned something they'd read; I took it down.
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At the link, there's a spoiler for an upcoming Glee ep, but really I just wanted to show off the suggestive Klaine banter epic comment thread.

http://beyond-dapper.livejournal.com/202794.html?thread=4071722#t4071722
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I just went on Facebook and deleted all links to my other sites. Facebook is pretty much where I play nice and have a profile so extended family/parents' friends/etc can contact me. Most of the people I'm friends with (that I interact with, anyway) there are not the kind to wrap their head around fandom and such--Facebook is where I censor myself for my audience. LiveJournal is not. I won't be linking to my website there, either.

To better illustrate the point: I'll post on Facebook that I'm looking forward to Glee, but I wouldn't dream of linking to my Klaine fanfic, because there are people that would be angry with me. Homophobic redneck cousins, for instance.

Ne'er the twain shall meet, as they say.

Still working on the site. I have a bit of a quandary--I kind of want to delete my FFN and FOSFF accounts, but I went to FFN yesterday to see what I had originally written for a summary on a story I was putting on the site, and clicked through and realized that I gotten a lot of really lovely reviews. I can't think of any not-stupid-looking way to import them, but I don't want to lose them. I suppose I could always just copy-and-paste them and save them for my own self (and I imagine this is what WILL happen), but...sigh.
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I guess that while the internet will always be part of our lives, where one spends their time on it will be constantly changing...?

Well crap. Just when I was thinking of opening a separate account to be my creative catchall.
rena_librarian: (Default)

I'm not sure why I've had this love/hate thing going on with LJ recently.

A while ago, I moved most of the crap that I follow via RSS (lolcats, GraphJam, comics, etc) to Google Reader, which I love--it'll archive everything until I FEEL like reading it, and will keep track of what I have and haven't read and is just altogether much better for someone as OCD as I am. (Also, I can pick and choose what to read--if I want to look at lolcats and don't have it in me to see what they're mocking on Pundit Kitchen, or want to only read about sucky/funny customers but don't feel like seeing what offbeat brides are up to, I have that option.) There's about two more RSS feeds that I can and probably will move soon.

Theoretically, only having actual posts by actual people on LJ (and therefore having much less to read even if I don't check it every day) was supposed to make it easier to do. But no.

I just joined a new (and apparently quite active) community on here, of Animorphs fans, with a weekly reread, and I think that'll poke me to get over here more often.

But the thing of it is, even if I do get better about reading what everyone else is up to (and please, if there's anything I should know about/read do tell me/link me; if I didn't comment on something major it's a safe bet I've missed it), I don't really know what to post anymore. I feel like my Facebook status updates cover everything worth sharing, lol.

I'm using Twitter to update Facebook now, since Facebook doesn't support my new cell provider and Twitter does. However, if I'm at the computer I'll also update Facebook that way, so if you only follow my Twitter you're going to miss updates. And I don't ever actually go to Twitter. I could have fifty kajillion comments over there for all I know. People I don't know are following me and I have no idea why. I just don't really "get" the concept of Twitter as a social networking sort of thing; it's basically Facebook or even MySpace stripped down to nothing but status updates, and I don't see what Facebook was doing so terribly. (MySpace got a lot less interesting once it started trying to be Facebook, lol. I do wish you could customize your layout and such on Facebook, but at the same time it's nice because you don't have to see what kind of juvenile crap people will put on their pages given the opportunity. Your background is a bleeding heart with a knife in it, really? YOU'RE FOURTEEN. STFU.)

People keep asking me what I (and Cody) do all the time now that we're married. IDK. People seem to think that I magically have all this time to work on my creative outlets, but honestly, I barely have time to read. (I guess one could argue that I should spend less time on the internets, but usually, I'm doing something else while I'm doing that.) Part of it is not knowing where to start; I want to write AND draw, and I know I ought to start with finishing a chapter for my story with Michele, but I also kind of feel like I'm out of the groove and should write something less likely to be read by other people, lol, just in case it sucks.

Not to mention, I did finally clean out the Room 'o Doom, and Cody has his office/workspace/he hasn't really decided what to call it, but now there's like ten boxes in my office that need to be better stored/organized. And I don't really have the furniture or space to do it right.

Also, I'm toying with the idea of chopping some bangs into my hair, but I'm hesitant. I'm afraid I'll look like I did when I was 14, I'm afraid that the real reason I want to do it at all is that I can't dye my hair purple at my job, I'm afraid I'll burn myself when I try to flatiron them. Also, a woman I follow on YouTube just took the plunge and while it looks awesome on her I 'm kind of afraid of being accused of being a copycat, even though I had the idea before I saw hers. (I realize how silly this last one is, yes.) I'm irritated about the job thing, because it's due to the dress code. Most of the office wears jeans and t-shirts on a daily basis in direct violation of the written dress code, and me, who wears jeans maybe twice a week and generally dresses very well, can't color my hair a crazy color because it's "unprofessional." Nor can I wear a hat. I REALIZE THAT A BASEBALL CAP WOULD BE TACKY AND UNPROFESSIONAL BUT DAMMIT I JUST WANNA WEAR A CLASSY LITTLE BERET ON MY BAD HAIR DAYS GRAAAH GRR DIE. Okay I'm better now.

Speaking of Altering One's Appearance, I'm way more into makeup than I used to be (meaning I actually bother to put it on as often as not, and like learning new tricks, and makeup now qualifies as An Interest of Mine). I follow panacea81 and xsparkage on YouTube, and kinda want to try my hand at making makeup videos. The holdbacks there: editing is time-consuming, I'm not sure I could do anything as awesome as the people already doing it do, and I'm kind of afraid of comments to the effect of "fat cows shouldn't wear makeup u tard!" Yey trolls. At the same time, when I mentioned it on the Offbeat Bride forums, I got a lot of positive feedback (plz plz plz show me how to do X!). So if I went back and posted there I'd have some automatic followers.

IDK. I guess I'm just going through an unproductive phase. Maybe I should go back to school...nothing makes one as creative as having a paper to procrastinate on. Lol. Actually Cody and I are batting that idea around, too, though honestly he'd probably go first (no way we could BOTH go back right now). Since we're married, OUR incomes are the only ones that would count for anything on a FAFSA, unlike before when our parents would factor in.

Another thing we're talking about/halfassedly working towards is getting a house. The rent got jacked up when Cody moved in here and basically every time we pay the rent we get this feeling of "dammit, there's money we'll never see again. WASTE!" I think I'd be okay in a condo sort of situation (still more or less an apartment and still having a maintenance guy take care of all outdoor chores etc) but Cody wants a house and I don't strictly NOT want a house. He's promised to take care of, or pay someone to take care of, the yard work, which I don't want to mess with. (If I was in a house alone I'd be the crazy lady with the knee-high grass...) So we're saving. We're poking at real estate listings. But we haven't taken the concrete step of trying to get a loan. IDK. It's going to be a while before we move, lol.

I had more to say than I thought.
rena_librarian: (Default)
So yeah. Got married. Was awesome. Pictures here and here. =) (You don't have to be on Facebook, or my friend on Facebook, to view them with those links, but if you ARE on Facebook and want to add me, add me. =) ) It's kept me busy for a while (I'm still working on thank-you notes), and LJ will only archive your flist for two weeks, so...yeah, I hate to do this to you all, but I'm declaring LJ bankruptcy. I'm reading the entries made in the last two weeks, and beyond that, well, if I missed something amazingly stupendously huge/important in any of your lives, leave me a link to any/all relevant entries in comments on this entry. (I've been ignoring LJ for a while before the wedding as well, I know--I don't think I've really blogged about my job much at all. But then, I'm not really supposed to. =/ According to Facebook, I am a ninja, since I can't put the name of the place, lol.)
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...of FAILURE.

Yeah, I'm still kinda behind on LJ and not making all the comments I would usually make, but I have decided--

DUDE. The wedding is in NINE DAYS. We're down to SINGLE DIGITS, people! So I'm just going to BE behind on interwebs, and I'll see you all when I get done honeymoonin'. I may be around in the meantime, but I'm not going to sweat it if this is the last post I make until then.

Happy Halloween/time change. =)


PS--I wore kitty ears and drew a nose/whiskers on myself for work Friday, in case anyone wondered what I dressed up as. No pics, though, because it was so simple.

GRR

Oct. 20th, 2009 11:20 pm
rena_librarian: (Default)
So your flist will only load entries that are two weeks old or less.

The good news is that means that my flist is, in fact, displaying correctly.

The bad news is that I'm going to have to check up on all the stuff you've all posted by--gasp!--ACTUALLY LOOKING AT YOUR JOURNALS.

The horror.

It ain't happening tonight. XD But now, at least, I know.

rena_librarian: (Default)
Blah blah blah, I fail at LiveJournal, etc etc. Not sure if I'm going to read the last...month?...of entries or not, we'll see how far backed up I am.

The main reason for this is Google Reader: I decided to separate syndicated content from meaningful content (instead of reading all of it together and getting SUPER backlogged all the time). Therefore ICHC and such are checked on Google Reader, and LJ is for...well, actual people. Lol.

I really just wanted to come around and say:

A) Yeah, still alive, wedding plans rolling.
B) I spent the weekend with Josh and Shelly and we watched Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog/Commentary! The Musical and I have been left wibbling. In a very good way. (Yeeeah I might have a crush on NPH now, but this is hardly the first time I've developed a fondness for the unattainable, lol.) And yeah yeah yeah I KNOW I need to, you know, dive into the rest of Jossverse, but please, maybe, can it wait until after the wedding?



PS: This weather makes me happy. Le sigh. =)

backlogged

Sep. 7th, 2009 12:11 am
rena_librarian: (Default)
I am 620 entries back on my flist.

Damn straight I'm going to read every last one.

Just...maybe not all tonight.

hacked!

Sep. 5th, 2009 01:15 pm
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IDK if anyone noticed my journal got deleted yesterday--that was NOT ME. I was hacked--had to fight my way back into Gmail (they have a 24-hour waiting period ARRRRRGH), then came over here and I'd been deleted, had to reset everything. I'm going to check over EVERYTHING that I log in to on a regular basis and hopefully that's the extent of the damage. WTF???

When I've calmed down a bit, I know I've been neglecting LJ (in favor of the Offbeat Bride Tribe, sorry). I'll try to read through everything today.

Sigh. Everyone take note--CHANGE YOUR PASSWORDS. If you're using an unsecure one, CHANGE IT. Monitor your crap! Take safety measures!

never here

Apr. 23rd, 2009 09:37 am
rena_librarian: (Default)
I work weird hours and have no internet access. I would be here obsessively if I did.
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Why the Writer's Block suggestions have been SO RETARDED this last week.
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It's been crazy around here. Long story short, I'm rearranging like 75% of my house because Cody and I have gotten a free bed, and once we're married we want the bigger room--currently the office--to be Our Room. =D Not that he's moving in, but we're gonna go ahead and set it up, and I'll sleep in it until the wedding when he can join me. =)

I've got to like...get rid of stuff. Really really. Like half the stuff in the Room of Doom.

Oh, those of you who are using Vista and having problems with it choking on itself--turn off Aero (ie, go into your display settings and make it look like Windows 98). It helps A LOT. After a few hours you won't miss it.

Ahhh, nice. Caught up on the flist. (By which I mean I have a zillion tabs open in Firefox, lol.)

There will be blogthings. Possibly tomorrow. Also Facebook memes.

*yawn* If the Lions ever go to evening meetings, I'm SO there.

Oh, and I have the last two episodes of Lost on my computer, and will be watching them somewhere between Lions and the new ep. =)

Éowyn

Dec. 6th, 2008 02:34 pm
rena_librarian: (Default)
After someone on the Converse community asked me what my Éowyn icon said, I realized that I REALLY needed to delete it.

So yay, new default userpic! I finally found my Faramir!

Edit: Yay, it are the retroactive!
rena_librarian: (Default)
1. Reply to this post, and I will pick six of your icons.
2. Make a post (including this info) and talk about the icons I chose.
3. Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.
4. This will create a never-ending cycle of icon glee.

I was tagged by [livejournal.com profile] kitty0_o , even though I only HAVE six icons. Lulz.


I don't know why I even HAVE more than one, because I always use this one, lol. It says "I have come to consider myself...a restless Eowyn...awaiting my Faramir." I made it up and had [livejournal.com profile] thehobbitwaffle make it for me, since I didn't have the resources at the time. And now that I think about it, I should probably drop it entirely, 'cause it's really not true anymore.

Now that's a mouthful, Clive, and no mistake. (His middle name was Staples, if you didn't know. If my middle name was Staples, I would answer to it.)

Hobbity found this for me on the wider interwebs and posted it on DLBE for my use. It was my avatar there for a while (I change it out over there) and has been one of my LJ icons ever since I figured out I could have more than one.

Again...self-explanatory. I don't think this was meant to be an icon, IIRC it was the thumbnail for a t-shirt bearing this design. Lol. (And no, I don't think I'd actually wear the t-shirt. In public.)

Hobbity made a series of these "LiveJournal:" icons, and I requested that she make this one in the same style. I loves it. I suppose technically, now, Facebook would be the thinking person's MySpace. But Facebook wasn't around back then. (And yes, I have this icon displayed ON MY MYSPACE. XD)

This is the first panel of Kimono's Townhouse episode 122. It came out eleven days before Cody and I got together officially. I made the icon in anticipation. ^_^

lolzors

Aug. 27th, 2008 08:50 pm
rena_librarian: (Default)
Composed here.

Holy Blog Of Doom, Batman! I just opened mine eyes, and lo! I have not updated this since the sun was actually shining in Melbourne... You would not believe the amount of people that are totally stalking me. Apologies to my regular readers! Even the little blue ones!.

I am frantic with setting fire to people wearing Crocs, learning to speak Japanese, just generally being the life of the party to society in general, my day seems to be a litany of stuff and giggles from dusk to dawn. I am smitten. perchance.

I declare solemnly I will make more of an effort to blog more often until the nice men in the white coats come back. Fully! Until my paycheck dawneth...
rena_librarian: (Default)
Ten Things You Want To Say To Ten Different People:
1. I think I wrecked our relationship permanently. I seriously fucked up. I went to sleep last night with the thought that I should contact you first thing in the morning because I hadn't seen you and then you called.
2. We're never going to see 100% eye to eye, but you've opened my eyes to a lot of prejudice. I'm ashamed to admit to you that I once condoned and even supported that.
3. When I first saw you, I honestly thought you were too pretty to talk to me. Glad I was wrong.
4. I have decided that I have enough insecurities of my own and that I'm much healthier as a person since I quit worrying about conforming to yours, too.
5. Sometimes I wonder what you would have been like if you had lived, but I don't actually wish for it, because I realize that there's a good possibility that if you had, I would never have existed.
6. I figured that if there was anyone who wouldn't change because she had babies, it would be you. And as much as I love them all, I was wrong about that--sometimes I feel like we have zero in common.
7. I know you're trying to protect your daughter from bad influences, but I would really love to be able to MSN with my niece. Let her back on the internet. It's not all bad.
8. You're the only biological relative I have that actually gets me and if you had skipped the reunion, I probably would have, too.
9. You're more wishy-washy than I remembered from when I was a kid.
10. Be patient with me...I think I like you. No. I know I like you. It's just a matter of how much.

Nine Things About Yourself:
1. I own over a thousand books and I've read the majority of them.
2. I'm allergic to seafood.
3. I can never think of what to put in these "random facts about YOU!" things.
4. I'm addicted to LiveJournal.
5. I want to have purple hair at least once before I die.
6. I think the Wall Of Avatars on my MySpace says more about me than anything else I could have ever put together.
7. I also think that there is no one else on earth besides myself who would understand 100% of the avatars in said wall, due to the diversity of the fandoms and quotes and such.
8. I love cats.
9. I own 31 pairs of shoes.

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:
1. Be creative--if you can amuse/intrigue me, you've won half the battle. "Fat penguin." "...?" "I wanted to say something that would break the ice." <=Waaaay better than something like "So what's your favorite movie?"
2. Create something--write a poem, or a song, or draw something.
3. Don't try to impress me.
4. Do your research. Anyone can send a dozen red roses, it takes a little more effort to know I'd rather have jonquils--or really, that I'd rather you buy me a present that I'll still have five years from now instead of something that'll be dead, gone, and in the trash in a few weeks at the most.
5. Brownies. Nothing funky, just plain old brownies with chocolate frosting.
6. Small, simple gestures go a long way. Leaving me a personal note or fixing something for me trumps spending lots of $$$.
7. Understand that sometimes I am irrational, but if you stick around through it, it'll pass.
8. If I'm not laughing/loling, it's already over.

Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot:
1. My friends, collectively.
2. Lions stuff.
3. Elijah/LotR.
4. Near-future plans (my itinerary for the day/week, getting bills paid on time, etc.).
5. The distant future (more than a year or two away).
6. Ideas for art/fiction and the thought that I don't spend enough time on either.
7. Heh...someone.

Six Things You Wish You Never Did:
1. Called Katchan something that I KNEW full well would press one of her buttons. In retrospect I should have waited and cooled off before I said anything.
2. Entered the Honors Society. I might actually still be in school if I hadn't.
3. Talked to Hannah. I certainly don't anymore.
4. There was this one temper tantrum when I was three (or about to be three) that I actually still feel guilty for throwing, and not just because my parents still tell the story. I have no idea why I was so upset, though I remember being upset.
5. Drank the water in Mexico. IT'S ALL TRUE.
6. Listened to my mother so much.

Five Turn Offs (in a girl if you're a boy, boy if you're a girl):
1. Stupidity, always.
2. Being overly muscular.
3. Preppiness (as differentiated from metrosexuality, which is a turn-on)
4. Obsession with sports.
5. Unavailability.

Four Turn Ons:
1. Intelligence, lol.
2. Artistic creativity in some capacity--music, art, writing...
3. Dark hair+blue eyes.
4. Red hair, lol...

Three Smileys That Describe Your Life:
1. =D
2. XD
3. O_o

Two Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1. Get married (and everything that entails, wink wink).
2. Become a bestselling author.

One Confession:
I've been hesitant to say anything after the last one went so badly, but...I've met someone.
rena_librarian: (Default)
It took me a week to set everything up, but FINALLY, I've got Detour to Destiny a home of its own--here on LJ.

[profile] detourdestiny

It's full of awesome. ^_^ And now there's going to be no more drama like there was on the fanfiction websites. (FFN deleted us for quoting lyrics, FOS is now offering anything BUT Freedom of Speech.)

So now it seems like all is going to be smooth sailing insofar as getting it FINISHED and posted. I've gotten back into the writing groove, and Shelly's all graduated. The only thing that can interfere there is wedding plans. Hee!

If you want to know what I'm talking about, you can read the FAQ here. :D

February 2012

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