rena_librarian | Nico-isms (Reply)

Ahh, Nico. Nico the wonderful coworker who makes the hours go faster. Nico who makes me feel comfortable at work. Nico who is always nice to me. In another reality, Nico is a straight, nonsmoking Christian, and I'm marrying him. (Okay. That may be an exaggeration. But still. I would definitely have a crush on him at least.) Unfortunately in this reality he's gay (yes, confirmed, I directly asked him), he smokes, and I have no idea where he stands religiously. (He mentioned his Christian roots once, but I'll get to that in a moment.) So in this reality he's just the really cool coworker. ^_-

But anyway. The point is, I can't explain why he's fun to be around, you just kind of have to hear the kinds of things he says. So, for your reading pleasure, I have started collecting what I have dubbed "Nico-isms." ^_^

First off, he will randomly sing songs from, like, "The Wizard of Oz" and "Willy Wonka" for no apparent reason. The other day he was singing "Do Your Ears Hang Low?"
"Argh, I can't sound authoritative when I have the hiccups!"
"I'm not laughing AT you, I'm laughing NEAR you!"
He sang some Sunday-school song one day (I recognized it but I've forgotten what it was), and got laughed at, and so he said, "Are you making fun of my Christian roots? ARE YOU? See, I used to have Christian roots, but I dyed them blond!"
One day he got irritated at someone who was being slow, and was muttering in Spanish while he put dishes in the sink. I asked if he spoke Spanish (being all impressed at that) and he said, "Only when I'm p***ed."
If you've seen the new "Stepford Wives" like you should, you'll get this: He's said "do si do, do si do, do si do" in a pretty dang good impression of Faith Hill, and done "The Washing Machine." Had me doing it for a minute, too. ^_^
We have to fill out these books for work, to show that we're trained. It asks questions like "What goes on a supreme chalupa?" and "When are you supposed to clock in and out?" Brooke (one of the managers) gave me a blank one and a filled-out one and told me to copy the answers and I would learn it that way. So then Nico comes up to me and says, "Is this the first time you've been faced with an ethical dilemma? Your boss hands you a book and goes, 'Here, cheat!'?"
On Monday, the first day of Sandee's (evil b****-monster-from-h***) vacation, he sang "Ding, dong, the witch is dead," and then at the end, under his breath, added, "Not really, she's just on vacation..."
When asked "What's the point?" he said, "The point is the end of a pencil!"
He randomly asked me one day, "You're heterosexual, right?" Which, of course, I am. He then proceeded to ask me a "look" question about his chest hair. So then I asked him "What about you?" "What about me?" "Are YOU heterosexual?" His answer: "Oh, no, honey, I'm as queer as they come. And sometimes they don't." Brief pause. "WAIT! I didn't mean the other thing! I just meant--yeah, okay..."
When I asked what "baja" technically meant, since we have baja sauce and a "tropical"-flavored Mountain Dew called Baja Blast (available ONLY at Taco Bell, lol, and apparently I'm the only one that actually LIKES it, lol. I don't love it, but I can drink it. It's like blue Kool-Aid, only carbonated), he said: "Baja is a Spanish word that means 'lower'. It implies 'lower' quality. That's why the sauce only goes on the icky stuff, and why that name was given to the cr***y pop."
One day, he sang: "Ta rah rah boom dee ay/Did you get yours today?/I got mine yesterday/That's why I walk this way!" And while I'm laughing insanely at what is presumably a dirty joke, he acts like he thought no one would understand it and says, "Do you GET it? It's a joke about orthopedic inserts!" Which made me laugh even more.