May. 23rd, 2011

ugh

May. 23rd, 2011 12:13 am
rena_librarian: (Default)
So the other morning I had a dream.

Most of the time my dreams are fairly cracktacular, or the typical dreaming-I'm-actually-awake-and-getting-ready dream. When I'm lucky I'll have a fandom-based dream (like the time I dreamed I was a tenth Fellowship member, or that I met Elijah Wood at an airport and he started hitting on me).

But not the other day.

I dreamed that Cody got his shit together and he had moved back in, and it was like...day two, maybe. And it was really awkward because ALREADY I am used to being in total control of my space again (I'm a bit territorial, not gonna lie), but he was pretty understanding of that and was really making an effort and going out of his way to be sweet.

(And truthfully even if things did go that way IRL I think I'd insist on getting a new place together rather than him moving back in here again; one of the things I felt kind of bad about when he left was that it was so easy to separate my stuff from his, like he was never fully part of things here--which was never my intent, but would be an easy way to interpret things. I don't know if I'm articulating this clearly.)

And it's like...ugh, subconscious, I was doing so well. IDK if the dream stemmed from me just hating living alone and my subconscious was trying to trick me into wanting to take him back, or if it's just trying to rein me back a little--like, "yes, he's done horrible things to you, but he used to be really sweet and you're going overboard with the thinking he's a dick because he's not 100% dick, just, like, 50%."

In other news he continues to not contact me but quickly reply if I contact him, and be relatively nice when that happens.

ALSO in other news, I found out that yet another one of my friends is living in one of the cities I'm considering moving to, which brings the total to three, plus anyone else I can convince to move there. (But I think that debate maybe qualifies for its own entry.)

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