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Where you go to print off a sheet of address labels, and almost stick in a second and third page of blank ones, say to yourself "Why not?" and then pause, and awkwardly answer yourself "Because you're probably going to be moving soon."

I'm applying for jobs in St. Louis. I can make twice as much working in a video store there as I do at a desk job here. (And honestly? I think it'd be less stressful. Debt collection sucks.)

I want to get the divorce settled first, but as soon as that's done I want out of here. I fucking hate living here, I have for so, so long. I should've moved away for college--I likely never would've met Cody--and I'm just not happy with my life.

(This isn't a cry for help, by the way. I know it will get better, and I have my coping devices in the meantime. I'm just whining.)

Also angst about turning 26 next month and finding myself single after thinking I was done with all that. The idea that I have to start all over, and that I wasted so much time on a man boy who obviously is not The One after all honestly makes me a little sick. Considering I want to take things slower next time around, I could be 30 before I get to be married again. 30. THIRTY. Ugh. I'm having a quarter-life crisis (thank you, John Mayer, for the metaphor).

I don't think everything will magically be better. But I think living in a place I actually want to be--accomplishing a huge, huge, huge bucket list item--will bring the happiness baseline up so high that it'll make everything else so much more bearable.
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My grandma sent me some money to help with the legal fees, and I'm writing her a thank-you note.

I'm using one of the thank-you note cards leftover from wedding presents.

It seemed appropriate.
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So I participated in a secret santa over on [livejournal.com profile] beyond_dapper. And today was a bad day. And I don't know what possessed me, but I made a video of myself opening my presents.


So yeah. That's me. =)
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Kia made me a Klaine fanmix!!!
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Whenever I am in a stressful situation, whether it be anger stress or fear stress or just plain stress, I start composing a blog entry about my feelings in my head. However many words are on this journal, there's probably three times as many that I never even typed.

And when I do this, it actually makes me feel better.

I have no idea what this says about me as a person.

still alive

Dec. 1st, 2011 01:51 am
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WON NANO.

Have a quiz.


You Are Level Headed



You have a wide set of interests, and you make for interesting company. You are witty and dynamic.

You seem impulsive, surprising, and unpredictable to outsiders.



You are good at understanding how all things work, except for people.

You can remain steady through a crisis - and other people lean on you.


Whee!

Nov. 28th, 2011 06:44 pm
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Putting up a wishlist for the Beyond Dapper Secret Santa. WOOT. If you're not the person who has my name, just scroll on by and ignore this entry, lol!

Christmas wishes! )
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Hobbit Set Pics of the Day
see more TDW Geeks

Can I just...can I talk about this for a minute?

When Lord of the Rings came out, we all kind of looked at each other and said "Wouldn't it be awesome if they made The Hobbit, too?" and laughed it off because that would just be too epic and we were so lucky to have the LotR films as they were, flaws and all.

Then there started to be rumors that oh, maybe they will make, but we found out they had chosen a different director so it wasn't going to be the SAME. But then things happened and that director dropped out, and PJ stepped up, and we rejoiced because life was so wonderful.

And then they announced it would be TWO MOVIES.

Then we realized that the only characters to carry over are Gandalf, Bilbo, and Gollum and you could maybe justify Legolas, and if you really stretched you could cast John Rhys-Davies as Gloin, but there would be no reason to include the four main Hobbits. But THEN they announced that Elijah would be back, granted as a framing device, but still!

We just keep getting luckier and luckier and we used to talk about these movies like they would never happen at all and GAAAAH I am just so happy for this fandom and I cannot WAIT.
rena_librarian: (Default)


You Are a Woman



Like most women are in touch with your emotions, and you believe that crying can be cathartic.

You aren't going to apologize for having a tender heart. You're moved by so much in this world.



You love art and literature. You think stories are important, and you tend to gravitate towards fiction.

≈You love beautiful things, and you have an eye for design. Beauty is important to you, especially your own.




Well. Good to know.

Now: finish eating, then load up the laundry, sit in the laundry room with the laundry and work on NaNo because I am way behind.
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My dad has, and has always had, a full beard. It's a weird religious thing with him, he feels like he's supposed to have it because he's married.

When I was very small (three-ish?) he'd catch hold of me and carry me, and give me kisses/snuggles to which I would loudly object because his beard was scratchy.

And now I don't think I could ever date/marry a man that wasn't generally clean-shaven. Sometimes I can be attracted to a little bit of scruff (see: Criss, Darren or Monaghan, Dominic in particular) but I don't think I could make out with a guy when he was like that; I'd just think of my dad and it'd be all weird and icky.
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Wikipedia's list of musicians that died at 27 (a phenomenon brought to light recently by the death of Amy Winehouse).

Do you have to be a good musician to get in the "27 club"?

Because also according to Wikipedia, Katy Perry turns 27 on the 25th. Just sayin'.
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At the moment it happened? My first kiss.

In retrospect, given how things turned out? Hm. Probably my entire first trip to Canada. Life-changing. So many good moments.
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yup

Oct. 9th, 2011 01:29 am
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SPOILERS AHOY )
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My family, mostly. I'll talk about "my online journal" or "my blog" or "so-and-so that I know from LJ," but I've never given any of them the URL.

I had the URL on my Facebook until one of my cousins mentioned something they'd read; I took it down.
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At the link, there's a spoiler for an upcoming Glee ep, but really I just wanted to show off the suggestive Klaine banter epic comment thread.

http://beyond-dapper.livejournal.com/202794.html?thread=4071722#t4071722
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Spoilers ahoy! )
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And I really can't do anything about it--I pay $4 a month for my satellite, it's provided by the apartment complex.

Can anyone direct me to a good, stable livestream of Glee? I managed to find an upload the same night it aired last week, but I'd like a reliable source--and to not be behind so I can be glexting with everyone else while it airs!

ETA: I found a 24-hour feed of the Fox channel, so yay, I can even watch House, which I had been planning to just watch on Hulu or whatever the next day/week/whatever. WOOT.
rena_librarian: (Default)
What you have:
[x] You own over 10 bottles of nail polish (probably more like 40? *counts* GURG...108...not counting topcoats/nail art stuff.)
[x] You own a designer purse (it says Dolce and Gabbana, but it may very well be horribly fake...I don't care, it's purple and sparkly!)
[ ] You own perfume that cost over $60
[ ] You had/have fake nails
[ ] You have more hair products and body products than you can use
[ ] Your pet is a Chihuahua/Pomeranian/Yorkshire Terrier/Siamese/Shih Tzu/ mini anything
[ ] you have clothes/shoes/accessories for your pet
[ ] You have enough clothes to cover an entire refugee camp
[ ] you have enough pictures to create your own wallpaper (...yeah but it's over half Lord of the Rings, so...I don't know if that's really what they mean here)
[ ] A pink comforter, carpeting, walls or sheets
Total So Far: 2

Do you:
[ ] Spend more time at the mall than you do at home/work (that would require me to spend 8 hours a day at the mall...lol)
[x] Have had a hair color that is not natural (purple streaks)
[ ] Have "blonde moments" at least once a day (not THAT often!)
[ ] Buy stuff because it's awesome and then never wear/use it (I use it all!)
[x] Constantly keep your phone at your side (I feel more naked without it than if I was to actually forget pants, I think.)
[x] Dance around in your room when nobody else is home
[x] Have a name for your car
[x] Know what celebrity is dating who and who broke up this week (but really only as a byproduct of reading Go Fug Yourself)
[x] Refuse to go out in public without makeup (brows and mascara at the very least, preferably also eyeliner, and if there's time I like to do proper eye makeup)
[x] Prefer to be called "princess" (Sarah actually means princess, so this is just one of those naturally-occurring nicknames, but it's a context thing--there are certain ways it could be said to me that would make me stabby. Mostly I just like hearing it from Dad.)
Total So Far: 9

Do you love:
[x] Makeup
[x] Glitter
[ ] The color Pink
[x] Jewelry
[ ] Mirrors
[ ] Chick flicks
[x] Shoes
[x] Rainbows
[x] Unicorns
[x] Disney Movies
[ ] Flowers (HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE.)
[ ] Stuffed Animals
[x] Purses
Total So Far: 17

Do you shop at:
[ ] Coach
[ ] Forever 21
[ ] Victoria's Secret
[ ] Guess
[x] Claire's
[ ] Express
[ ] Delia's
[ ] Hollister
[x] American Eagle (I've been in the store once and my sister bought me a cute summer top, but only after I put it back because I didn't think it was worth my money, lol...she was all "but it's so cute!")
[ ] Abercrombie Fitch
[ ] Aeropostale
Total So Far: 19

Do you say:
[x] Whatever
[x] Oh my gosh/goodness
[ ] Hun (if I use this word, it is spelled "hon" as in "short for honey," not this idiotic phonetic spelling.)
[x] Fugly
[x] That's hot (usually in an ironic way, like when someone belches. And yes that is the proper definition of ironic.)
[ ] Dunzo (WTF?)
[x] Darling (hi, new pictures of Darren...)
[x] Bff
[x] Cutie
[ ] Hottie
[x] Skank(y)
[x] Totally
[ ] For Sure
[x] Fabulous
Total So Far: 29

Do you read:
[ ] Cosmopolitan
[ ] Glamour
[ ] Marie Claire
[ ] Elle Girl
[ ] Teen Vogue
[ ] People
[ ] Us Weekly
[ ] Star
[ ] Self
[ ] PerezHilton.com
[ ] Dlisted.com
[ ] Seventeen
[ ] people.com
[ ] usmagazine.com
[ ] popsugar.com
[ ] Pink Is The New Blog.com
Total So Far: 29 (I've probably read something from all of the above at least once, but I do not follow any of them regularly.)

Do you love these:
[ ] Legally Blonde
[x] Elizabethtown
[x] Mean Girls
[ ] Now & Then
[x] The Notebook
[x] A Walk to Remember
[ ] Sweet Home Alabama
[ ] Where the Heart is
[ ] Just my luck
[ ] John Tucker Must Die
[ ] Center stage
[ ] Bring it On
[x] How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
[x] Mona Lisa Smile
[ ] My Girl
[ ] Wedding Date
[ ] 10 Things I Hate About You
Total So Far: 35 (My severe lack of movie-watching is showing...again)

Do you really enjoy:
[ ] America's Next Top Model
[ ] Project Runway
[ ] Desperate Housewives (Ugh, dienowplzkthxbai)
[ ] The Simple Life
[ ] 8th & Ocean
[x] Sex & the City
[ ] Grey's Anatomy
[ ] The O.C.
[ ] The City
[ ] Nip/Tuck
[ ] Gilmore Girls
[ ] Degrassi
Total So Far: 36

Take your total and multiply it by 2. Then repost this as "I am #% Girly." With the number you got as the percent, of course.

February 2012

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